Rule #13: Dance Music is Fascist

The word "Hitler" is tossed around a lot these days.  So are "Socialist," "Fascist," "Ayn Rand," "Class Warfare," and other terms whose users don't seem to have a fucking clue what they mean.  People also say "irregardless" when they mean "regardless" and/or "irrespective."

However, I am using the term "fascist" advisedly here.  Or wrongly.  Either way.

The lyrics of almost every dance song are a series of orders.  Commands on what steps you HAVE to take.  You are being told by a disembodied voice to "Shake Your Groove Thing," "Dance Dance Dance" or "Freak Out!"  All barked at you over a march-style drumbeat.

This is military-style control of the general population.  To me, that's fascism. 

There are a few exceptions.  "The Time Warp" from Rocky Horror asks you to do it ("LET'S do the Time Warp again") and then tells you the steps without forcing you to do them.  Similarly, Chubby Checker begged one partner to join him ("Come on Baby, let's do the Twist"), and then later asked her (assuming he was looking for a heterosexual dancing arrangement, but who am I to judge) to join him again ("LET'S Twist again, like we did last Summer").  No force, no pressure.  Just a suggestion.

Perhaps the most egregious example is "Da Dip." 

Let's just look at the first verse:

Just get on the floor like I said befo'
Y'all remember that "Down Low"!
Just put a little dip wit' it,
Now roll those hips wit' it
Pop it, push it, rock it, roll it 

In other words, shut up and lie down.  NOW!

Can't control it?  I'll come hold it
It's all in fun so take a chance

I think we've all seen enough Movies of the Week and Afterschool Specials to know that when someone tells you do to something because "it's fun" they don't mean that it's fun for YOU.

Just get on the floor and do that dance, y'all
I know you like this so, don't try to fight it
Turn around, baby, let me see you from the back
Yeah, I like it like that
Get up now, roll those hips, 
Drop down, double-up on those dips
Freak Nasty wanna see,
Can y'all do this right here for me?

Coincidentally, this is exactly what the maid claimed Dominique Strauss-Kahn said to her in his hotel room.

And then, there's the chorus:

I put my hand upon your hip, when I dip, you dip, we dip
You put your hand upon my hip, when you dip, I dip, we dip
I put my hand upon your hip, when I dip, you dip, we dip
You put yours, and I put mine, and we can dip down low and roll and grind! 

Nowhere in the song does he ask if he can put his hand upon her hip.  Nor does he ask if she will put hers on his.  And, she is given no choice in this interaction.  She WILL dip when HE does!  And, when she decides to dip, he is going to join her. 


No one yet has written a dance tune called "Show Me Your Papers," although I suspect Arizona will commission it soon.  So we have to look for the more subtle forms of fascism in our dance music.  And, believe me, it's there.