Rule #10: Don't Say "Hitler"

No one will ever mistake Hank Williams, Jr. for:

1. a genius
2. a policy wonk
3. Hank Williams, Sr.

Junior wrote two good songs: the Bad to the Bone/Hoochie Coochie Man mash-up My Name is Bocephus

And the "I can drink more than my daddy, and it KILLED him" anthem All My Rowdy Friends are Coming Over Tonight.

 

Showing an artistic integrity that would have Daddy Hank doing laps around his coffin, Hank the Younger decided to let Monday Night Football use the song for its opening theme.  And, in an even more integrity-laden move, he actually rewrote the song as the now-classic Are You Ready for Some Football.

 

Which, inexplicably, led someone at NBC to grab the sheet music to I Hate Myself for Loving You, scribble in new lyrics about the NFL, and stick it under Faith Hill's nose.

But I digress.

Earlier this week Hank Jr., when asked a question about who he likes in the 2012 GOP presidential candidate field, immediately and drunkenly veered into comparing President Obama to Hitler.  It was so bad even Gretchen Carlson noticed (after 3 more questions went by, mind you).

Here's the deal.  If you're in public DON'T TALK ABOUT HITLER!!!!

There are only three groups of people who are allowed to talk about Hitler on TV:  Holocaust survivors, historians, and the cast of The Producers.  

That's it.  That's the list.

If, by chance, you find yourself being interviewed, and some part of your brain says "you know, a Hitler reference would fit in really well right now," here's what you do.

Ask a passing cop if you can borrow his gun and blow your brains out.

It won't hurt you as much in the long run.

Or, if there is no cop around who will loan you his weapon, or pepper spray you into submission, just substitute another historical dictator.  Like, say, Caligula.  Or Catherine the Great.  Or Darth Maul. 

"The President wants to have more trade with China.  You know who also opened trade to China?  Genghis Khan!"  

If you weren't worried about historical accuracy with Herr Adolf, why bother with it now?  And, frankly, most TV hosts won't know enough about whomever you use to challenge you.

Just don't bring up Hitler.