Rule #11: Fashion is Punishment for Sins We've Committed in Past Lives

We're not talking about the David Bowie song here, although it is not "one of his best."

My Next Rule: There is No Good Song With the Lyrics "BEEP BEEP"

I'm talking about an industry whose sole purpose is to get people to buy new clothes before their old ones wear out.

This is not to say you shouldn't dress in a flattering way.  But fashion has rarely, if ever, been about flattering the wearer.  For Chrissakes, THESE were considered fashionable:

These are about as flattering as Don Rickles seeing an overweight Korean woman in the front row of his show sitting next to a Mexican dwarf wearing an ascot.

I could, maybe, think of fashion as not being pure evil if it was moving in a steady direction towards more comfort, a "better" look, or a more environmentally responsible process.  But, really, it's just about making women look like they don't know what to do with their money.

So, somewhere, somehow, we have all sinned in our previous existences so badly that we are cursed with things like Fashion Week (I'm sorry, it's now MERCEDES-BENZ FASHION WEEK), Mr. Blackwell, Golden Globes gowns, and Sex and The City 2.

Maybe it's karmic payback for every example of slavery in human history, or our tendency to kill each other for the stupidest fucking reasons, or Sex and the City 2, but something really pissed off the gods to give us this.

But, there is a lighter side: